I did Shirley Temple and for this peice i did a descriptive paragraph on her later years. For this i would like responses on how you liked it and what i should do to explain anything better to you.
Shirley's Later Years
As Shirley grew up she didn't act as much as she used to. The public didn't want Shirley to grow up because she was so cute and they wanted her to be America's Sweetheart forever, so people didn't watch Shirley as much because she was growing up. So Shirley didn't act as much as she did in the past. At one point Shirley didn't act for seven years. She went back into the acting business in January 1957. There was a show called The Shirley Temple show on NBC on September 18, 1960 which Shirley had begun. In 1967, Shirley ran for congress in California. Shirley didn't win. A man named Pete McCloskey won. Shirley Temple had breast cancer but she told people that atmastectomy isn't the end of a womans life.
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I like how you described how she became famous and what she did to be so popular. And also that dates always help because if you just said in January or in March people would think oh like two months ago she got into the acting business. It helps a lot to know the years.
ReplyDeleteI like how you descibed her but you might want to go a little more in detailed.
ReplyDeleteI like how you told what she did as she got older and that people didn't want her to grow up. But I think that you should also tell what she did during the seven years she wasn't acting.
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